Basic Dating Guidelines
 Just when you thought you've heard or read everything, out pops the basic dating guidelines. Wait, "are these dating rules", you ask? Not quite. Here at DGM we like to look at them as guidelines to help better your chances of getting to a second date. While most of the items below are what you would call, um, common sense, but let's face it, not everyone has common sense, so we're here to help you out.
- Respect: Keep this first and most important rule at the forefront of your mind while on your date. Respect your date. This is the first encounter you will be having and first impressions are lasting impressions. Show your date disrespect, and you're guaranteed to crash and burn before you get to introduce yourself.
- Ditch the Ex: Hey, we all have them, but they are part of our past, so leave them there. Don't talk about your Ex, regardless of how bad you might think they where. You're on a date with a new person, treat them as though they are the only ones, and not on a date with you and your Ex!
- Stop Whining: If you're a whiner, your date will find out soon enough. But for the sake of getting through your first date, don't whine or complain. You're date doesn't want to hear about a bad co-worker, or the high price of gas. They want to hear more about you.
- Don't Lust After Others: I recall being on a date with a lady one time and all she did was check out other guys. Keep your eyes in your sockets and on your date. Eye contact shows interest in your date. If you are a habitual "gazer", then practice focusing your attention with a friend before you meet your date.
- Keep it Casual: This is your first date with this person. Don't put too much emphasis on the future and don't go overboard on selecting a fancy restaurant. Just be yourself. Plan a casual date to a local park or coffee house. Keep the conversation light and about your interests.
- Be Interested: Don't dominate the conversation with everything you like. Be an active listener. Let your date talk. Ask him/her questions about themselves. This will show that you care and are interested in your date. Remember, dating is finding out about the other person, not boasting about yourself.
- Avoid the Movies: While this may be an easy idea to select for a date, you really don't get to chat with your date and learn much about the. Avoid any type of situating that would take your attention away from your date, like the movies, a play, or comedy club.
- Meet at a Coffee Shop: As rule #5 states, keep it casual. Select a coffee shop as a first date location. It allows you to be relaxed, dress casual, and have conversation to get to know each other. Plus, it's affordable!
- Give Yourself An Out: We don't live in a perfect world, so it's important to be realistic here, after all, your dating someone you just met online. While it's safe for the most part, you do get a few, "interesting" characters online. Let your date know you have plans later (after your date). If all is going well, then you can simply make the alternate plans disappear. If you're having a bad experience, then you can politely excuse yourself for your "other plans".
- No Texting/Cell Phone: It's a good idea to have a cell phone with you, but keep it on vibrate. You don't want to pull out the cell phone and start chatting while on a date, especially if your date is talking to you. The same goes for texting. Nothing screams "I'm Not Interested In You", then using the cell to talk or text while on your date. NOTE: The only exception is if you're a parent and you need to keep a line to your children, but let your date know in advance that you have children.
- Use Your Dates Name: There's almost an art to using a persons name while speaking to them, but I think for the most part, many of us can do it naturally. Make your date feel important by using their name on occasion, during the date and conversation. But, don't over due it. It may seem as though you're nervous or too "stuffy".
- Have No Expectations: Remember, this is your first date, so you shouldn't expect anything, but to meet your date and spend some time getting to know them. Expecting anything else, like sex or even marriage would make you look out of touch with reality. Go on your date with the notion that you are going to meet and have a casual evening (or day).
Again, these are not steadfast rules, but a guideline of common sense ideas to
help you get to your second date or beyond. Dating and courting is a process and love cannot be forced or speed up. If the relationship is meant to be, then it will progress. If it's not, there are more "fish in the sea" to select from when it comes to online dating. Take your time, and have fun. If you have any additional thoughts, please leave a comment. We'd love to hear them.
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